Third Down and ... Goal?

Good Laaa-wwwrrddd!
I know how to neglect things.

Yesterdays total... $119.07
Not bad for a Monday

I have a beautiful way of screwing up beautiful things. I've kinda been dwelling in all that mental minutia who-ha lately and blowing off important things like budgets, home improvement, health, friendships... blah, blah, blah, blah.

So yesterday started off with a stop at Speedway ($11.29). I was slightly hungover (after just one drink - but to be fair it was a BIG drink) and needed a Monday morning kick in the ass that didn't involve much work. Breakfast was 2 Krispie Kremes, Coffee, banana and a Diet Pepsi. I survived the day... numb from the neck up.

After quitting time it was my tri-weekly therapy session ($37.80). Very positive... but very self loathing and kinda whiny.

Post therapy I made my way up to the super size strip mall to Home Depot for more grout ($23.77), Petco for dog food ($27.44), Kroger for Swiffers and baking soda ($8.63) and dinner at 5 Guys ($10.14).

I went home with every beautiful intention of grouting my tile and cleaning house... I did neither. I ate and went to bed.

Still searching for my motivation. Kinda tired of living laterally and not moving forward. The sad, sad, sad fact is that I know how to change this... but it's not going to be pretty.

I've been in one of those sorta dreamy, floaty state of minds...
I saw "An Education" a few weeks ago and fell in love with the soundtrack... 
Maybe I want my own sort of Education... but that only comes with getting straight answers to direct questions. There is a right and wrong, a good a bad, positive and negitive, but how am I to move forward by just guessing and hoping to get by?

April 20, 2010