Total since last write up... waaay to much
Things haven't been particularly busy... or interesting for that matter... but I seem to be getting myself deeper and deeper in some self created drama.
Sometimes it's just hard to understand something if you don't have all the information. I know it sounds cheesy but as I tweeted last night "Only when you know the truth can you move forward". I don't like the fact that I seem to get mixed messages. I suppose some of those messages are right... for right now... and that's just what I get.
I'm not feeling neglected just excluded and I'm not sure why I am. I've rationalized the whole thing. I thought I explained my position quite clear but I'm sure my reasoning is completely misunderstood or just ignored because people only hear what they want to hear or don't have the attention span to take it all in. I don't give a shit about something I can never have. We would kill each other if we were in a relationship, I get it... it's just sex. If someday we'll have to stop having sex then why not stop now. If we're just going to be friends why am I spending the night and cuddling. Why does she know "everything about me" but I don't know jack shit about her. I accepted that a long, long time ago what this situation is and I've never made the first move just tried to explain myself. So the question is... is it foolish and childish to walk away once more? Why is it so easy for him to keep me at arms length but it's just not ok for me? Why the fuck am I even thinking about this? Kind of useless waste of time.
I've been talking (or should I say texting) my ex boyfriend. A man that dumped me for some lame reason and then would pop up out of no where and disappear as quickly. I'm not sure how I feel about the situation. I find myself wanting to restart our relationship but I'm not sure if it's because I miss him or that I still love him or because I'm just lonely. Being lonely is the worst reason. Besides he drinks. A lot. I'm trying not to. I'm almost to the point where I think I should start going to AA meetings or start taking Antabuse because the lack of control is getting down right frightening.
Ok Monty Hall. I see what's behind curtain number one and curtain number two... maybe I should take curtain number THREE!!! Have a feeling that it's the boobie prize and by boobie I mean the balding, mustached fat man (with boobs) that seem be my "Matches of the Day" on Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish.
Not sure what my next big purchase is going to be. Still need to do a lot of work on the house. But is it possible to purchase a positive attitude and a personality? My magic eight ball Blackberry app says "No".
Friday, April 30, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Bouncing...
Friday... Friday... Friday
$46.25
I went to bed Thursday night with every intention of NOT spending any money... but I did anyway. Lunch starting at a set time is a fantasy for me. There are days where I can time things so at 12:30 I can catch up with Perez Hilton and shut down for 30 minutes but there are some days I put off food until 3pm when I can stuff food in my mouth while completing all sorts of mindless paperwork. Friday was that kind of day and to make matters worse what I pulled out of my freezer that morning didn't sound appetizing at all. Earlier in the day I got a huge surprise. My boss bought a ticket for SLC to go to his son in laws 40th b-day so when I asked him if he wanted something for lunch I had no intention of letting him buy it. In other news I'm officially the mayor of Anita's Kitchen ($16.11).
The day went on and I was itching to go out to the bar... hang out... be stupid but currently my Partner in Crime has been involved with, as I heard it described to me, "his new squeeze" so that has pretty much meant that stupid fun has been just a dream. So when my boss let me out of work early I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to do other then hit up Red Wagon and get a bottle of wine and some mini bottles of margaritas ($30.14). I went home, kicked my shoes off and sat out side soaking up the sunshine. I started flipping through my contacts to see if I could con anyone in going out that night but no luck. The sad thing is that I actually did have plans that night. I was supposed to play tennis with my ex boyfriend. The truth is I have to keep that door shut. I met up with him on Sunday he started with the money thing. He'd pay for a trip to Arizona for me, he'd pick up the tab for dinner at a nice restaurant, he was so busy that even though he wanted to buy a house of his own he couldn't find the time and asked if would I do it for him. Per usual it sounded extremely tempting because the night before while trying to find the money in my budget to go back to school I couldn't get the numbers to work in my favor. I think the deal breaker was when I had talked to him about tennis and mentioned that I didn't have a racket that he said would buy one for me. I'm a big girl and I know it's hard but I can pay my own way through life. Then there's the other thing. I can't remember a time when we hung out when he wasn't drunk and as someone that needs to cut down on the vodka tonics that's just a bad situation. I suppose it didn't help that our conversation was as deep as a puddle. Don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a whole political debate or the existence of a higher power type of talk but something more then slurred compliments, the revelation that he kept two cats locked up in his basement (temporarily housing them for his cousin for the past four months) and that annoying one word answer thing that he does was just not what I need at this point in my life. I deserve better. Now I just have to figure if I should look around online (eck) or just work on being the "O"
I don't know what to do right now... I miss being with someone but I got to figure out what I've got to offer to someone else. *Sigh* Someday it'll all make sense, right?
$46.25
I went to bed Thursday night with every intention of NOT spending any money... but I did anyway. Lunch starting at a set time is a fantasy for me. There are days where I can time things so at 12:30 I can catch up with Perez Hilton and shut down for 30 minutes but there are some days I put off food until 3pm when I can stuff food in my mouth while completing all sorts of mindless paperwork. Friday was that kind of day and to make matters worse what I pulled out of my freezer that morning didn't sound appetizing at all. Earlier in the day I got a huge surprise. My boss bought a ticket for SLC to go to his son in laws 40th b-day so when I asked him if he wanted something for lunch I had no intention of letting him buy it. In other news I'm officially the mayor of Anita's Kitchen ($16.11).
The day went on and I was itching to go out to the bar... hang out... be stupid but currently my Partner in Crime has been involved with, as I heard it described to me, "his new squeeze" so that has pretty much meant that stupid fun has been just a dream. So when my boss let me out of work early I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to do other then hit up Red Wagon and get a bottle of wine and some mini bottles of margaritas ($30.14). I went home, kicked my shoes off and sat out side soaking up the sunshine. I started flipping through my contacts to see if I could con anyone in going out that night but no luck. The sad thing is that I actually did have plans that night. I was supposed to play tennis with my ex boyfriend. The truth is I have to keep that door shut. I met up with him on Sunday he started with the money thing. He'd pay for a trip to Arizona for me, he'd pick up the tab for dinner at a nice restaurant, he was so busy that even though he wanted to buy a house of his own he couldn't find the time and asked if would I do it for him. Per usual it sounded extremely tempting because the night before while trying to find the money in my budget to go back to school I couldn't get the numbers to work in my favor. I think the deal breaker was when I had talked to him about tennis and mentioned that I didn't have a racket that he said would buy one for me. I'm a big girl and I know it's hard but I can pay my own way through life. Then there's the other thing. I can't remember a time when we hung out when he wasn't drunk and as someone that needs to cut down on the vodka tonics that's just a bad situation. I suppose it didn't help that our conversation was as deep as a puddle. Don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a whole political debate or the existence of a higher power type of talk but something more then slurred compliments, the revelation that he kept two cats locked up in his basement (temporarily housing them for his cousin for the past four months) and that annoying one word answer thing that he does was just not what I need at this point in my life. I deserve better. Now I just have to figure if I should look around online (eck) or just work on being the "O"
I don't know what to do right now... I miss being with someone but I got to figure out what I've got to offer to someone else. *Sigh* Someday it'll all make sense, right?
Friday, April 23, 2010
For it's One, Two, Three Strikes You're Out
$26.10 for yesterday
I've played softball for years now bouncing from beer league to beer league and after all those years you'd think I'd get better - well I haven't. Figures. The other leagues I've been in had games from 6:10 to 9:40 but the league I'm in now has games starting at 10:50. 10:50!!!!!!!! The game doesn't get over until 12. I'm getting older. That staying out until midnight on a work night is ROUGH! Then I'm stuck in being workout wired for hours after. So you see where I'm going here, right? Last night was a 10:50 game. Everyone I know knows that I had a 10:50 game because I've Bitched up a storm. It's not the being up at that time that hurts the most it's the staying up until that time is the roughest. I tried to combat this with a Red Bull ($2.69) and then a second Red Bull ($3.41 - fuck 7-11) then off to Max Dugan's to pregame the game with two Vodka RedBull's ($15.00) with the change I paid part of the ump fees ($5.00).
I don't know if I'm more sore or tired at this point. I need a massage... far tooooooo expensive right now unless of course I suck up to some random guy and try to score one (yeah right THAT'S gonna happen).
I wanna go out tonight.
I'm a little fun deprived right now.
I've played softball for years now bouncing from beer league to beer league and after all those years you'd think I'd get better - well I haven't. Figures. The other leagues I've been in had games from 6:10 to 9:40 but the league I'm in now has games starting at 10:50. 10:50!!!!!!!! The game doesn't get over until 12. I'm getting older. That staying out until midnight on a work night is ROUGH! Then I'm stuck in being workout wired for hours after. So you see where I'm going here, right? Last night was a 10:50 game. Everyone I know knows that I had a 10:50 game because I've Bitched up a storm. It's not the being up at that time that hurts the most it's the staying up until that time is the roughest. I tried to combat this with a Red Bull ($2.69) and then a second Red Bull ($3.41 - fuck 7-11) then off to Max Dugan's to pregame the game with two Vodka RedBull's ($15.00) with the change I paid part of the ump fees ($5.00).
I don't know if I'm more sore or tired at this point. I need a massage... far tooooooo expensive right now unless of course I suck up to some random guy and try to score one (yeah right THAT'S gonna happen).
I wanna go out tonight.
I'm a little fun deprived right now.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
In search of....
Wednesday's total.... $120.60
I woke up Wednesday morning a little later then I wanted to. Stayed up far to late Tuesday and I'm sure the 2 or 6 glasses of wine didn't help. I wanted to get up at 5:30 so I could take a shower before my 7:00am dentist appointment. That didn't quite work out. Woke up way late, no shower, a little hair goop and a nice think layer of makeup and I was good to go. Spent 45 minutes in the chair, got the chip in my front tooth fixed and the missing filling in the back tooth filled in ($77.00) and short nap, a free cup of coffee and a numb tongue & mouth. The drooling was sek-si.
Met up with a friend later to play tennis. It was my first time in yeeeeears and the sad thing is that I've mentioned tennis date to two other people and I get "You play tennis.... I play tennis... Why haven't we played tennis before?" Sorry didn't know I had to hand out a list of hobbies and interest to everyone I meet. This is real life folks not internet dating!!! Kidding. Guess the subject of tennis doesn't come up in everyday conversation. I should just introduce myself and add "99% of the things you like to do I like to do...". I left the house about 6 last night, the sun was shining it was warm-ish. I stopped off to get gas, water & a super size Red Bull ($35.48) and by the time I hit my friends house at 6:30 it was raining and temp had dropped 10 degrees. We still played. In the rain. Wind blowing. For an hour & half. Good times. I wheezed all the way home, cranked up the furnace as soon as I walked through the door and wrapped myself in a huge blanket as I watched the 16 & Pregnant season finale and ate Jimmy Johns ($8.12).
I've been thinking kinda hard about going back to school. Can't really afford to right now. I should be renting out my basement or the other room but where can I find a 'normal' paying roommate that wants to live in my little shit hole. School... Home Improvement... Both have a payoff... but just which one can I handle without ripping my hair out is the hard question.
I woke up Wednesday morning a little later then I wanted to. Stayed up far to late Tuesday and I'm sure the 2 or 6 glasses of wine didn't help. I wanted to get up at 5:30 so I could take a shower before my 7:00am dentist appointment. That didn't quite work out. Woke up way late, no shower, a little hair goop and a nice think layer of makeup and I was good to go. Spent 45 minutes in the chair, got the chip in my front tooth fixed and the missing filling in the back tooth filled in ($77.00) and short nap, a free cup of coffee and a numb tongue & mouth. The drooling was sek-si.
Met up with a friend later to play tennis. It was my first time in yeeeeears and the sad thing is that I've mentioned tennis date to two other people and I get "You play tennis.... I play tennis... Why haven't we played tennis before?" Sorry didn't know I had to hand out a list of hobbies and interest to everyone I meet. This is real life folks not internet dating!!! Kidding. Guess the subject of tennis doesn't come up in everyday conversation. I should just introduce myself and add "99% of the things you like to do I like to do...". I left the house about 6 last night, the sun was shining it was warm-ish. I stopped off to get gas, water & a super size Red Bull ($35.48) and by the time I hit my friends house at 6:30 it was raining and temp had dropped 10 degrees. We still played. In the rain. Wind blowing. For an hour & half. Good times. I wheezed all the way home, cranked up the furnace as soon as I walked through the door and wrapped myself in a huge blanket as I watched the 16 & Pregnant season finale and ate Jimmy Johns ($8.12).
I've been thinking kinda hard about going back to school. Can't really afford to right now. I should be renting out my basement or the other room but where can I find a 'normal' paying roommate that wants to live in my little shit hole. School... Home Improvement... Both have a payoff... but just which one can I handle without ripping my hair out is the hard question.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I think I order fattoush because I just like saying the word
Tuesdays total: $50.75 - but $23.75 will be reimbursed.
My boss bought lunch ($23.75) well at least he was supposed to but never gave up the credit card so I bought. I'm being reimbursed though... I WILL be reimbursed
Other then that yesterday was just a typical day at work followed by a typical tongue lashing by my Doctor ($27.00) because I decided to stop taking one of my prescriptions. It's not that I wanted to rebel against the guy... I just kinda thought the pill was sorta useless. Truth is - it isn't. Apparently the irrational, frustrated and aggravating feelings I've been having lately could have belayed my meltdowns. That would've been something I should have known about ... could've saved some trouble and whole bunch of tears. Now that I'm armed with this piece of EX-tremely useful knowledge has made sleeping a bit impossible. I signed up for Netflix in order to finish off my 101 in 1,001 list (Roger Ebert's list of movies to watch before you die) because the local Blockbuster a) doesn't carry them and b) since they changed their rental policy I've been spending more on late fees then to rent the movie in the first place. But anyway... Netflix has this "Watch Instantly" online option which I'm totally in love with! My new favorite show is Weeds. I've already watched the first two seasons. Can't wait for the rest.
April 21, 2010
My boss bought lunch ($23.75) well at least he was supposed to but never gave up the credit card so I bought. I'm being reimbursed though... I WILL be reimbursed
Other then that yesterday was just a typical day at work followed by a typical tongue lashing by my Doctor ($27.00) because I decided to stop taking one of my prescriptions. It's not that I wanted to rebel against the guy... I just kinda thought the pill was sorta useless. Truth is - it isn't. Apparently the irrational, frustrated and aggravating feelings I've been having lately could have belayed my meltdowns. That would've been something I should have known about ... could've saved some trouble and whole bunch of tears. Now that I'm armed with this piece of EX-tremely useful knowledge has made sleeping a bit impossible. I signed up for Netflix in order to finish off my 101 in 1,001 list (Roger Ebert's list of movies to watch before you die) because the local Blockbuster a) doesn't carry them and b) since they changed their rental policy I've been spending more on late fees then to rent the movie in the first place. But anyway... Netflix has this "Watch Instantly" online option which I'm totally in love with! My new favorite show is Weeds. I've already watched the first two seasons. Can't wait for the rest.
April 21, 2010
Totally off topic...
But currently my celebrity crush is ...
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs
There is a great article about him on Daily Beast.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Third Down and ... Goal?
Good Laaa-wwwrrddd!
I know how to neglect things.
Yesterdays total... $119.07
Not bad for a Monday
I have a beautiful way of screwing up beautiful things. I've kinda been dwelling in all that mental minutia who-ha lately and blowing off important things like budgets, home improvement, health, friendships... blah, blah, blah, blah.
So yesterday started off with a stop at Speedway ($11.29). I was slightly hungover (after just one drink - but to be fair it was a BIG drink) and needed a Monday morning kick in the ass that didn't involve much work. Breakfast was 2 Krispie Kremes, Coffee, banana and a Diet Pepsi. I survived the day... numb from the neck up.
After quitting time it was my tri-weekly therapy session ($37.80). Very positive... but very self loathing and kinda whiny.
Post therapy I made my way up to the super size strip mall to Home Depot for more grout ($23.77), Petco for dog food ($27.44), Kroger for Swiffers and baking soda ($8.63) and dinner at 5 Guys ($10.14).
I went home with every beautiful intention of grouting my tile and cleaning house... I did neither. I ate and went to bed.
Still searching for my motivation. Kinda tired of living laterally and not moving forward. The sad, sad, sad fact is that I know how to change this... but it's not going to be pretty.
I've been in one of those sorta dreamy, floaty state of minds...
I saw "An Education" a few weeks ago and fell in love with the soundtrack...
Maybe I want my own sort of Education... but that only comes with getting straight answers to direct questions. There is a right and wrong, a good a bad, positive and negitive, but how am I to move forward by just guessing and hoping to get by?
April 20, 2010
I know how to neglect things.
Yesterdays total... $119.07
Not bad for a Monday
I have a beautiful way of screwing up beautiful things. I've kinda been dwelling in all that mental minutia who-ha lately and blowing off important things like budgets, home improvement, health, friendships... blah, blah, blah, blah.
So yesterday started off with a stop at Speedway ($11.29). I was slightly hungover (after just one drink - but to be fair it was a BIG drink) and needed a Monday morning kick in the ass that didn't involve much work. Breakfast was 2 Krispie Kremes, Coffee, banana and a Diet Pepsi. I survived the day... numb from the neck up.
After quitting time it was my tri-weekly therapy session ($37.80). Very positive... but very self loathing and kinda whiny.
Post therapy I made my way up to the super size strip mall to Home Depot for more grout ($23.77), Petco for dog food ($27.44), Kroger for Swiffers and baking soda ($8.63) and dinner at 5 Guys ($10.14).
I went home with every beautiful intention of grouting my tile and cleaning house... I did neither. I ate and went to bed.
Still searching for my motivation. Kinda tired of living laterally and not moving forward. The sad, sad, sad fact is that I know how to change this... but it's not going to be pretty.
I've been in one of those sorta dreamy, floaty state of minds...
I saw "An Education" a few weeks ago and fell in love with the soundtrack...
Maybe I want my own sort of Education... but that only comes with getting straight answers to direct questions. There is a right and wrong, a good a bad, positive and negitive, but how am I to move forward by just guessing and hoping to get by?
April 20, 2010
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Friday, April 30, 2010
Total since last write up... waaay to much
Things haven't been particularly busy... or interesting for that matter... but I seem to be getting myself deeper and deeper in some self created drama.
Sometimes it's just hard to understand something if you don't have all the information. I know it sounds cheesy but as I tweeted last night "Only when you know the truth can you move forward". I don't like the fact that I seem to get mixed messages. I suppose some of those messages are right... for right now... and that's just what I get.
I'm not feeling neglected just excluded and I'm not sure why I am. I've rationalized the whole thing. I thought I explained my position quite clear but I'm sure my reasoning is completely misunderstood or just ignored because people only hear what they want to hear or don't have the attention span to take it all in. I don't give a shit about something I can never have. We would kill each other if we were in a relationship, I get it... it's just sex. If someday we'll have to stop having sex then why not stop now. If we're just going to be friends why am I spending the night and cuddling. Why does she know "everything about me" but I don't know jack shit about her. I accepted that a long, long time ago what this situation is and I've never made the first move just tried to explain myself. So the question is... is it foolish and childish to walk away once more? Why is it so easy for him to keep me at arms length but it's just not ok for me? Why the fuck am I even thinking about this? Kind of useless waste of time.
I've been talking (or should I say texting) my ex boyfriend. A man that dumped me for some lame reason and then would pop up out of no where and disappear as quickly. I'm not sure how I feel about the situation. I find myself wanting to restart our relationship but I'm not sure if it's because I miss him or that I still love him or because I'm just lonely. Being lonely is the worst reason. Besides he drinks. A lot. I'm trying not to. I'm almost to the point where I think I should start going to AA meetings or start taking Antabuse because the lack of control is getting down right frightening.
Ok Monty Hall. I see what's behind curtain number one and curtain number two... maybe I should take curtain number THREE!!! Have a feeling that it's the boobie prize and by boobie I mean the balding, mustached fat man (with boobs) that seem be my "Matches of the Day" on Ok Cupid and Plenty of Fish.
Not sure what my next big purchase is going to be. Still need to do a lot of work on the house. But is it possible to purchase a positive attitude and a personality? My magic eight ball Blackberry app says "No".
Bouncing...
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Friday... Friday... Friday
$46.25
I went to bed Thursday night with every intention of NOT spending any money... but I did anyway. Lunch starting at a set time is a fantasy for me. There are days where I can time things so at 12:30 I can catch up with Perez Hilton and shut down for 30 minutes but there are some days I put off food until 3pm when I can stuff food in my mouth while completing all sorts of mindless paperwork. Friday was that kind of day and to make matters worse what I pulled out of my freezer that morning didn't sound appetizing at all. Earlier in the day I got a huge surprise. My boss bought a ticket for SLC to go to his son in laws 40th b-day so when I asked him if he wanted something for lunch I had no intention of letting him buy it. In other news I'm officially the mayor of Anita's Kitchen ($16.11).
The day went on and I was itching to go out to the bar... hang out... be stupid but currently my Partner in Crime has been involved with, as I heard it described to me, "his new squeeze" so that has pretty much meant that stupid fun has been just a dream. So when my boss let me out of work early I couldn't for the life of me figure out what to do other then hit up Red Wagon and get a bottle of wine and some mini bottles of margaritas ($30.14). I went home, kicked my shoes off and sat out side soaking up the sunshine. I started flipping through my contacts to see if I could con anyone in going out that night but no luck. The sad thing is that I actually did have plans that night. I was supposed to play tennis with my ex boyfriend. The truth is I have to keep that door shut. I met up with him on Sunday he started with the money thing. He'd pay for a trip to Arizona for me, he'd pick up the tab for dinner at a nice restaurant, he was so busy that even though he wanted to buy a house of his own he couldn't find the time and asked if would I do it for him. Per usual it sounded extremely tempting because the night before while trying to find the money in my budget to go back to school I couldn't get the numbers to work in my favor. I think the deal breaker was when I had talked to him about tennis and mentioned that I didn't have a racket that he said would buy one for me. I'm a big girl and I know it's hard but I can pay my own way through life. Then there's the other thing. I can't remember a time when we hung out when he wasn't drunk and as someone that needs to cut down on the vodka tonics that's just a bad situation. I suppose it didn't help that our conversation was as deep as a puddle. Don't get me wrong I wasn't expecting a whole political debate or the existence of a higher power type of talk but something more then slurred compliments, the revelation that he kept two cats locked up in his basement (temporarily housing them for his cousin for the past four months) and that annoying one word answer thing that he does was just not what I need at this point in my life. I deserve better. Now I just have to figure if I should look around online (eck) or just work on being the "O"
For it's One, Two, Three Strikes You're Out
Friday, April 23, 2010
$26.10 for yesterday
I've played softball for years now bouncing from beer league to beer league and after all those years you'd think I'd get better - well I haven't. Figures. The other leagues I've been in had games from 6:10 to 9:40 but the league I'm in now has games starting at 10:50. 10:50!!!!!!!! The game doesn't get over until 12. I'm getting older. That staying out until midnight on a work night is ROUGH! Then I'm stuck in being workout wired for hours after. So you see where I'm going here, right? Last night was a 10:50 game. Everyone I know knows that I had a 10:50 game because I've Bitched up a storm. It's not the being up at that time that hurts the most it's the staying up until that time is the roughest. I tried to combat this with a Red Bull ($2.69) and then a second Red Bull ($3.41 - fuck 7-11) then off to Max Dugan's to pregame the game with two Vodka RedBull's ($15.00) with the change I paid part of the ump fees ($5.00).
I don't know if I'm more sore or tired at this point. I need a massage... far tooooooo expensive right now unless of course I suck up to some random guy and try to score one (yeah right THAT'S gonna happen).
I wanna go out tonight.
I'm a little fun deprived right now.
In search of....
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday's total.... $120.60
I woke up Wednesday morning a little later then I wanted to. Stayed up far to late Tuesday and I'm sure the 2 or 6 glasses of wine didn't help. I wanted to get up at 5:30 so I could take a shower before my 7:00am dentist appointment. That didn't quite work out. Woke up way late, no shower, a little hair goop and a nice think layer of makeup and I was good to go. Spent 45 minutes in the chair, got the chip in my front tooth fixed and the missing filling in the back tooth filled in ($77.00) and short nap, a free cup of coffee and a numb tongue & mouth. The drooling was sek-si.
Met up with a friend later to play tennis. It was my first time in yeeeeears and the sad thing is that I've mentioned tennis date to two other people and I get "You play tennis.... I play tennis... Why haven't we played tennis before?" Sorry didn't know I had to hand out a list of hobbies and interest to everyone I meet. This is real life folks not internet dating!!! Kidding. Guess the subject of tennis doesn't come up in everyday conversation. I should just introduce myself and add "99% of the things you like to do I like to do...". I left the house about 6 last night, the sun was shining it was warm-ish. I stopped off to get gas, water & a super size Red Bull ($35.48) and by the time I hit my friends house at 6:30 it was raining and temp had dropped 10 degrees. We still played. In the rain. Wind blowing. For an hour & half. Good times. I wheezed all the way home, cranked up the furnace as soon as I walked through the door and wrapped myself in a huge blanket as I watched the 16 & Pregnant season finale and ate Jimmy Johns ($8.12).
I've been thinking kinda hard about going back to school. Can't really afford to right now. I should be renting out my basement or the other room but where can I find a 'normal' paying roommate that wants to live in my little shit hole. School... Home Improvement... Both have a payoff... but just which one can I handle without ripping my hair out is the hard question.
I think I order fattoush because I just like saying the word
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesdays total: $50.75 - but $23.75 will be reimbursed.
My boss bought lunch ($23.75) well at least he was supposed to but never gave up the credit card so I bought. I'm being reimbursed though... I WILL be reimbursed
Other then that yesterday was just a typical day at work followed by a typical tongue lashing by my Doctor ($27.00) because I decided to stop taking one of my prescriptions. It's not that I wanted to rebel against the guy... I just kinda thought the pill was sorta useless. Truth is - it isn't. Apparently the irrational, frustrated and aggravating feelings I've been having lately could have belayed my meltdowns. That would've been something I should have known about ... could've saved some trouble and whole bunch of tears. Now that I'm armed with this piece of EX-tremely useful knowledge has made sleeping a bit impossible. I signed up for Netflix in order to finish off my 101 in 1,001 list (Roger Ebert's list of movies to watch before you die) because the local Blockbuster a) doesn't carry them and b) since they changed their rental policy I've been spending more on late fees then to rent the movie in the first place. But anyway... Netflix has this "Watch Instantly" online option which I'm totally in love with! My new favorite show is Weeds. I've already watched the first two seasons. Can't wait for the rest.
April 21, 2010
Totally off topic...
But currently my celebrity crush is ...
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs
There is a great article about him on Daily Beast.
Third Down and ... Goal?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Good Laaa-wwwrrddd!
I know how to neglect things.
Yesterdays total... $119.07
Not bad for a Monday
I have a beautiful way of screwing up beautiful things. I've kinda been dwelling in all that mental minutia who-ha lately and blowing off important things like budgets, home improvement, health, friendships... blah, blah, blah, blah.
So yesterday started off with a stop at Speedway ($11.29). I was slightly hungover (after just one drink - but to be fair it was a BIG drink) and needed a Monday morning kick in the ass that didn't involve much work. Breakfast was 2 Krispie Kremes, Coffee, banana and a Diet Pepsi. I survived the day... numb from the neck up.
After quitting time it was my tri-weekly therapy session ($37.80). Very positive... but very self loathing and kinda whiny.
Post therapy I made my way up to the super size strip mall to Home Depot for more grout ($23.77), Petco for dog food ($27.44), Kroger for Swiffers and baking soda ($8.63) and dinner at 5 Guys ($10.14).
I went home with every beautiful intention of grouting my tile and cleaning house... I did neither. I ate and went to bed.
Still searching for my motivation. Kinda tired of living laterally and not moving forward. The sad, sad, sad fact is that I know how to change this... but it's not going to be pretty.
I've been in one of those sorta dreamy, floaty state of minds...
I saw "An Education" a few weeks ago and fell in love with the soundtrack...
Maybe I want my own sort of Education... but that only comes with getting straight answers to direct questions. There is a right and wrong, a good a bad, positive and negitive, but how am I to move forward by just guessing and hoping to get by?
April 20, 2010