Sunday, November 29, 2015

Sometimes a rainbow baby is better then a pot of gold

Nov 29th

Day 3 of no spending

This four day weekend has to be a record of all time minimal spending.

Thanksgiving was the big day - $29.34

$5.00 - Valet tip for family dinner at pricy restaurant
$6.50 - Movie (Spectre)
$8.50 - Movie Treats
$9.34 - 7-11 (Diet pepsi and smokes)


Friday, Saturday and Sunday just shut down.
Didn't leave the house, didn't talk to anyone, didn't text anyone.
This little fact scares me.
Nobody missed me and for further fright factor I was ok with being alone.

I could micro manage the whole situation by saying that I spent heavily on electricity because I was online and watching Netflix the whole time but I'm not... that just deepens the Type A defect and makes me wonder if there's even a point.

I'm trying to determine if there's any worth in this life anymore.
I was supposed to go in for a biopsy on Wednesday but cancelled.  The dollar value on find out if I have a physical defect seemed higher then living with it.
It would mean that I would have to have multiple visits to the doctor for follow up, birth control re-up  and removing certain piercings that had a high  'you-go-girl' effect that I'm not willing to for-go.

I'm thinking about entering in a no spend month.
I don't know if I'm able to do this...

Holidays suck for people like me.  
I'm lonely as it is... don't know if I'm willing to give up the little positive strides that I've made for myself.

I don't have a bad life.  I'm pretty much secure in the base layer of Maslows theory.  I can feed, cloth and shelter myself.  I would love to have someone that I wasn't considered a FWB situation or to be super fancy - a lover - but I'm not that type.  I've tried.  Just isn't my world.

I'm trying.
I'm just running out of places and motivation to look.

I have a dog.
He's pretty cool.
He puts up with me and the asshole cat.

Right now - that's my rainbow...  baby.




0 comments:

Sometimes a rainbow baby is better then a pot of gold

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Nov 29th

Day 3 of no spending

This four day weekend has to be a record of all time minimal spending.

Thanksgiving was the big day - $29.34

$5.00 - Valet tip for family dinner at pricy restaurant
$6.50 - Movie (Spectre)
$8.50 - Movie Treats
$9.34 - 7-11 (Diet pepsi and smokes)


Friday, Saturday and Sunday just shut down.
Didn't leave the house, didn't talk to anyone, didn't text anyone.
This little fact scares me.
Nobody missed me and for further fright factor I was ok with being alone.

I could micro manage the whole situation by saying that I spent heavily on electricity because I was online and watching Netflix the whole time but I'm not... that just deepens the Type A defect and makes me wonder if there's even a point.

I'm trying to determine if there's any worth in this life anymore.
I was supposed to go in for a biopsy on Wednesday but cancelled.  The dollar value on find out if I have a physical defect seemed higher then living with it.
It would mean that I would have to have multiple visits to the doctor for follow up, birth control re-up  and removing certain piercings that had a high  'you-go-girl' effect that I'm not willing to for-go.

I'm thinking about entering in a no spend month.
I don't know if I'm able to do this...

Holidays suck for people like me.  
I'm lonely as it is... don't know if I'm willing to give up the little positive strides that I've made for myself.

I don't have a bad life.  I'm pretty much secure in the base layer of Maslows theory.  I can feed, cloth and shelter myself.  I would love to have someone that I wasn't considered a FWB situation or to be super fancy - a lover - but I'm not that type.  I've tried.  Just isn't my world.

I'm trying.
I'm just running out of places and motivation to look.

I have a dog.
He's pretty cool.
He puts up with me and the asshole cat.

Right now - that's my rainbow...  baby.




0 comments:

 

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